Yes, you made the years 2008 through 2010 the best years of my life. You’ve also made them the worst. Before you I never knew what it felt like to be loved, and I thank you so much for showing me that amazing feeling. I miss it more than anything in the world but the more and more I think about it, I miss being in love, I don’t miss you. You made me feel beautiful, perfect, you catered to me like no man ever did, I told you all my secrets, I let you in, I trusted you, I was in love with you. On the other hand, you yelled at me, cursed at me, told me you didn’t care if you lost me, left me crying atleast twice a week because a fight got almost too far and I thought I would lose you. You always apologized, and like a fool, I always believed you. I was so blinded by love that I pushed away my true friends because they told me you weren’t good for me but I thought you were the only man who would ever love me. I may not be in a relationship now, like you are, I may not be “in love” with someone new, like you are, but i’m finally okay with that because I have realized that I would rather be alone that rush and put my heart on the line to just get hurt again, like you probably will. We had planned the most wonderful future I have ever wanted, but now you’re making all the same plans with her, and you know what that makes me think about you? Nothing. It makes me realize everything you’ve ever said was just “things people say”. You say I was your first love and you wanted me to be your one and only, forever. But now she’s your second one and only. It honestly disgusts me knowing the things I know. We promised eachother we would remain bestfriends for the rest of eachothers’ lives because we never wanted to lose eachother, and now look where we are. Not friends on facebook, your girlfriend blocked me, I don’t even have your number saved in my phone. That’s what bestfriends do, right? I didn’t think so. Sure, I have moments of weakness when I miss you, but that’s over. No more missing you. No more tears. No more listening to sad country songs thinking that they relate to us. There is no us, there was once, but there never will be again. And you know what? I’m okay with that. So, completely, OKAY. You might not believe one word of this but you need to. I’m moving on, one way or another. You say you don’t love me anymore, well guess what, when you love someone you never stop loving that person. It’s either you always love them, or you never did.
So I say goodbye to this sad, regretful me and I say hello to the happy, thankful, moved on, NEW ME :)